Chapter Three: The Esther Fast
Well, with at least those are two exploits secured under my armpit, how come, long after this H.M had left, I was still thinking about his three exploits…even when really, they were edifying him and not men (men I mean the men of bible which usually means men and women so don’t you be calling me gender biased…as I said, Kingdom lingual). Why was I still feeling that compared to him, my divine helpers were still relegated to the back yard of heaven because as the H.M’s angels reported what their protégé had achieved, mine felt they had nothing to report. Poor angels. Or poor me? Or may be poor both me and my angels. Well, if they were missing out on the heavenly wards, maybe they also hadn’t done enough to help me do great exploits here on earth. Didn’t they know earth was no joking subject…like on local kick boxing champion is fond of saying. So anyhow, as I slouched back down in my chair, I thought and and thought. It was not yet 2020. I could still redeem my image in heaven.
But let’s see, from H.M’s three exploits…well 40 days challenge…that one I could no longer do. We were only left with 4 days to the end of the year. I easily got off the hook of that one…40 days of vegies…ugh…thank you Lord…for now…Number 2. Reading the entire bible, there was no way I could swing that too. I hadn’t taken my annual leave and was still working 8 to 6 (yes I work 8 to 6 and sometime leave office at 9 and then take the other Friday off, nice huh) 8 to 6 in this festive season, as I deliberately tried to steer away from looking at people’s profile pics and updates…I was getting enough of Dubai and Mombasa and village scene pictures already without making an effort…friends always feel they have to share their good news or to just make you feel like a loser… , anyway, I hadn’t taken my annual leave, meaning that with my little time left at night to split between husband and children and God, I could not even read a quarter of the bible. Look, the Luke challenge had even defeated me. Do you know about it? The Luke challenge? Never mind. Happy to explain. You know at the beginning of the December, there was a forward, making rounds on social media that we should take up the challenge of reading a chapter of the gospel of Luke every day for the next 24 days and by Christmas day, one would have read the entire book of Luke and would celebrate Christmas with fresh knowledge of what it was all about…you know for some people, even fire and spirit filled Christians, concentrate on planning the Christmas day menu and will not even reserve an hour thinking about what the birth of Christ means to them. I don’t want to preach here so what I was saying was that even the Luke challenge had defeated me somewhere along chapter 8 and I had really given up, consoling myself that anyway, I was not among those Christians who thought Christmas was all about holidays, travelling abroad, a lot of meat and just lazing around filled with food and happiness? The whole world over. Literally. I mean really the whole world. I mean, even Dubai. Even Sauda Arabia I am sure. Not that I have ever been there but I know even there they feel the excitement of Christmas. But I wonder, Christmas is about JESUS…so how come people still do not believe in him. I mean the world comes to a stand still at Christmas. You are happy by force. Even most patients in hospitals get discharged on Christmas eve or ask to be discharged so they can go home to celebrate. Even non-Christians want to buy meat and get new clothes. I never feel like cooking pilau on Idd. Honestly, there is something about Jesus that the whole world should acknowledge…anyway, my point was that the challenge of reading a chapter of Luke each day was so that one could read the entire book of Luke and get to understand who Jesus really was so they can celebrate Christmas meaningfully, and I was saying that if that challenge had failed me, (there only 24 chapters in Luke), how then could I even think about reading the entire bible in the last 4 days?
So definitely, exploit 1; 40 days I could not do, and the entire bible I could not do. And then…against the will of my flesh, my spirit was telling me about the third exploit…No I stopped myself. I sprung up and went to make some tea, a strategy distract my mind from following that line of through… Exploit 3. No..I slammed that door of my brain and went back to my desk. Well…that small inner voice sneaked up once again…You could fa…No! Open google, close it. Open excel. Start editing my to do list…Silence..okay, peace sister…let’s focus on work…but a few minutes down the typing, that voice again…but you admire that H.M…this thing could help you you know…enter 2020 in high spiritual gear…God could speak about that job you know… Esther fast…Esther Fast. Start Tomorrow! I couldn’t. Every one knew that just 4 days to New year’s eve were going to be feasting days…i mean, we were finishing the year, and so we were going to see friends and taking children to the park and just going out to eat pork…so this third exploit, the only one I could still do was actually out of the question! Wrong timing. But it’s the only other exploit you could try sister…Nooo! Bad timing sister! Me and my flesh were happy. Relieved. Me and my spirit man…saddened by the unwillingness. Well…sorry sis…one to another. Lets try 2020 definitely!
So there I was, the night after supper (wow, night after supper reminds of Jesus with his disciples at the Last Supper), well, there I was, the night after supper, kneeling besides my bed (sometimes I still do it, kneeling I mean…but mostly I am stomping around while praying…I think also Jesus knelt down to pray and sometimes stood up so I think they all can work), well I am kneeling by our bed side, praying and I heard that small thin voice again, this time stronger and more determined, committing my flesh and soul to an Esther fast for the next three days. There was no negotiating. I was in prayer and at that point submissive to the spirit man so he had picked the right time. This meant 29th ,30th and 31st , no food and drink. I thought about the following day’s breakfast menu I had already planned with our maid and the church member we were having over for the holidays…fresh mandazi, katogo…stop Celia! Okay. About the fast…Yes… so there, on my knees, I determined what I was going to fast about, only three things, and said Amen and climbed back up to my bed. I stared at the ceiling. An uphill task was facing me. I had last tried an Esther fast about 8 years ago and do not remember if I had completed the entire three days. Those of you who fast even one day know the gravity…like I was saying, even our sister and brothers of the other faith wake up in the morning and eat heavy stuff but by 6pm they are totally whipped and gasping for chapati…so how much more difficult the Esther fast? With the lousy matooke and Gnuts I has just had for supper. Matooke (steamed banana) they say is 90% water. If I had know, I would have eaten a lot…more carbohydrates…etc…my mind rilled…my spirit man smiled…Jesus went for 40 days and night…Jesus was both man and God… Shacks sisi…you are not the fast and last…is food all you care about? What did Jesus say? Alright! No preaching. I said already I am doing the fast, didn’t I. Good night Holy Spirit. I knew He…the Holy Spirit was around…I could hear my husband still praying in tongues from the living room… Needless to say, for really, all this was not the reason I started this story, the real reason is coming, …
Just saying.... 